Opportunity wasting?

So its the beginning of my second week at my internship. Taravella is ALL about after school rehearsals. They really do work the hardest I have seen. I can remember having like, 2 after school rehearsals before districts when I was in high school. These kids really do work very hard.

We had our first rehearsal on Martin Luther King Jr. day. Joe Krienes is a guest conductor. I was his rehearsal assistant this morning and last night. I ate lunch with him today. I feel like God is giving me all these really crazy awesome opportunities, and I am not doing much with them. Maybe its because I dont start really teaching until tommorow. I feel like I havent done much. I mean, I have observed the crap out of this school and program, but havent taught more than a clarinet fingering and how to put on a reed correctly. I think I am just antsy.

BUT tommorow I do get to teach a chapter in music theory! I am kind of nervous- I wasnt the greatest in music theory. The chapter seems easy enough to explain, but there are always the "what if the students have a question I cant answer"...I want to seem credible to my students. They havent even heard my play yet. That is all going to change tommorow! I want so bad to show them and teach them everything I have to offer. Lets see how it goes...

As for life outside of work, I had an amazing and confusing weekend. I spent a lot of time with Ari. We went to dinner again and a movie. I get mixed vibes from him, which in turn is making me unsure of my feelings for him. The night after the dinner, me him and my friend jenny went to hard rock casino. He basically blew $200 on me and jenny. It was impressive, but I felt bad. He told me not to worry. He did kiss me goodnight, but then later asked me what Jenny thought of him. I dont know if im reading him right, but it made the kiss less exciting.

Im not sure, but at least im alive again. The crying bags under my eyes have dissapeared, and for good. My mouth is now curved into a smile instead of forced into a frown. Lets see what tommorow brings.

<3